Category Archives: Humour

GM Announces New Recall Strategy

With news of the latest GM recall (read: Three More GM Recalls Today: When Will It End? and GM adds three more recalls of more than 450K) covering more than 473,600 vehicles and 20 million in total this year, GM has developed a new recall policy. When a consumer buys any new GM vehicle, it will be recalled before it leaves the dealership and on every anniversary of the initial purchase for 10 years. This should eliminate most of the recall notices that the company has been forced to make. An official noted that they had considered recalling vehicle as soon as they left the production line and reserve the right to extent their recall policy to include this preemptive action.

Followup Gut Splitter

Two days after posting this, MarketWatch informs us: GM recalls another 7.6 million cars. It confounds us that GM can still sell cars! We’d short the stock as a bet on total management  incompetency in the company but we’re afraid that that this incompetence may be exceeded by the gullibility and ignorance manifest by the general public. The optimal strategy for the public would seem to be to own two different model GM vehicles from different model years. This will increase the odds of having at least one road-worthy GM vehicle at any time.

Flashpoint: The War on Climate Change Heats Up

Today we read in Zero Hedge that the Pentagon Warns Increase In Terrorism Due To Global Warming. Since the United States is admittedly in a war against terrorism and they believe that climate change contributes to terrorism, then the US must be at war with climate change.

We know that one of the great factors causing fluctuations in weather are the Southern Pacific temperature anomalies known as El Niño and La Niña. The climate is really in trouble now with the US military set to engage it. We expect a carrier strike group will be sent to the Southern Pacific to track down and destroy these Latinos.

Health Care By Number

As Canadians know, Canada has the best healthcare system in the world. And the main reason why is because it is comprised of Canadians. Canadians are polite. Canadians have a sense of fairness bordering on the pathological. And Canadians are mostly socialists whether they remain in the closet or have come out. These are all qualities as we shall see that contribute to our excellent healthcare system.

Flash Point: New Crash Predictor

The POOG has created a new economic index that may be a leading indicator of financial system crashes and market bubble pops. Called the Dead Banker Index, the reading for January 2014 stands at 3.0. The latest data supporting it comes from Zero Hedge today found in Third Banker, Former Fed Member, “Found Dead” Inside A Week:

As Bloomberg reports, following the deaths of a JPMorgan senior manager (Tuesday) and a Deutsche Bank executive (Sunday), Russell Investments’ Chief Economist (and former Fed economist) Mike Dueker was found dead at the side of a highway in Washington State. Police said the death appeared to be a suicide.

This is the highest reading of the index since the stock market crash of 1929 as far as we can tell, suggesting we are about to experience a major economic crash of global proportions with Deutsche Bank involved in the European phase of the event.

February 2014

This month’s index stands at 3.0.

Hoot for Today

Senator Bernie Sanders asked the NSA “Has the NSA spied, or is the NSA currently spying, on members of Congress or other elected officials?” (Washington Post).

The NSA response: “Members of Congress have the same privacy protections as all U.S. persons, …” or in less polite parlance ‘up yours’.

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